It’s strange, I know, but I’m going to go through some banana related things in Japan you may or may not know. Regardless, it’s bound to be an education for you! Welcome to my top ten list of banana related Japan!

#1 Magical Banana

Magical banana is an pretty old game show and a game you can play with your friends. It’s a word association game, kinda structured like Shiritori. You’ve probably seen it before, on MTV’s Dirty Sanchez, although they play with canes and pain.

The premise of the game is simple. Someone starts saying the word ‘magical banana’. The next person then has to think of something to do with that. Then the next person has to think of something to do with the thing just said, and so on. For example, with two people:

Player 1: “Magical Banana!”

Player 2: “When I think of bananas, I think of yellow!”

Player 1: “When I think of yellow, I think of sunflowers”

Player 2: “When I think of sunflowers, I think of bees”

Player 1: “When I think of bees, I think of honey!”

Player 2: “When I think of honey, I think of…erm…” (and the game is over because they couldn’t think of something fast enough!)

An hesitation or an incorrect answer ends the current game, usually with some kind of penalty involved.

It’s a quick game, made even quicker in Dirty Sanchez where single word answers, a short time limit and getting hit in the head with a piece of cane for wrong answers make the cut.

Here’s a video of the original gameshow in Japanese. Unfortunately i’m not gonna sub it, because there’s a LOT, but you’ll get the gist hopefully.

#2 Banana King

Japan has all sorts of crazy products, with equally crazy adverts to promote them. Sometimes, even the simplest things, like bananas, need an extra boost of ‘crazy’ to help them sell above the norm. Nothing compared to the Dole adverts i’ll show later, this is the Banana King. He is king of bananas, and he declares it to the world. This vid in particular is a song that is pretty damn catchy, but it’s a great example on how un-serious Japan is, and how it builds up it’s brand names on crazy concepts. The whole thing is at Europeon/American standards of crazy, but the scary thing is that this is the norm in Japan.

This is actually one of the Banana king adverts I found. The one I saw today was a newer one. This one is pretty tame compared to the weird Japanese adverts that are on TV, even today. This has actually been turned into a full song, those who want more information go here.

Wanna know what they’re saying? Then check out these lyrics. I’ve tried my best to figure out what they said. Anyone who wants to correct me, please do so.

オレの皮で転ぶなよ！
“Don’t fall on my skin!”

バナナの王様、
バナナの王様、
完熟王！
“The banana king,
the banana king,
ripe enough for a king!”

完熟王！
“Ripe enough for a king!”

食べられちゃった．．．
“he’s got himself eaten…”

おいしいよ！
バナナの王様、
完熟王！
“They’re delicious!
The banana king,
ripe enough for a king!

(Some of you may notice the kanji on the pacakaging is 甘熟王 not 完熟王. This is a play on words. Kanjyuku (完熟) means to be fully ripened. Ama[i] (甘[い]) means to be sweet. Ama[i] can also be read as ‘kan’, so it’s replace the first part, to imply not only is it ripened, but it is sweet too. A kind of Japanese play on words.)

#3 Banana armour

Japan is full of crazy, unnecessary products. Some are quaint, some make you think “What was going through the designers mind”, or “who would think this is useful”. The banana guard is one of these products.

Sure, for little kids, it helps to keep banana off of their schoolbooks and in their bag and stuff. I’m sure that many parents will tell of the horrors of having to clear out mushed fruit out of their child’s bag when they get home from school. However, the idea of having a separate container for the banana seems a little inappropriate. It’s like Japan’s need to have everything packaged twice over using all sorts of different materials. It’s just unneeded.

Unfortunately for some companies, such as the makers of the Banana Bunker, the product in various ‘hot’ colours look like something else.

#4 Ridiculously expensive fruit

Sometimes when at work, someone will come around with a box of apples or a big bag of pears and start handing out pieces of fruit on little sticks, much like party appetizers. This seems, quaint at first to the untrained eye, a nice small gesture.

When you’ve been here for a little while, you grab at these opportunities and realise something; these guys must be loaded!

Because my friends, fruit in Japan is expensive. I’m not talking a little bit, like “man, these apples are 10p more expensive that the other week!” kinda expensive. I’m talking about 3-4 apples costing about £10 expensive. I’m talking about a watermelon costing more that it does to fill up your car expensive. If you like fruit and you aren’t wealthy, don’t come to Japan!

Even bananas, which are such a staple fruit back home, are kinda expensive. Sure, $4-5 for a bunch of three bananas ain’t that bad, but when you see they’re really quite small an already over ripe, then you realise that the value of these things just went plummeting down.

#5 The Morning Banana Diet

Ah, the trend that started it all. Millions of Japanese women (and men for that matter) ran out to stores and supermarkets to buy up bananas after it was discovered that they were part of a miracle diet. And by discovered, I mean it came from a post on the Japanese website Mixi, after one of the posters claimed they had shed a number of pounds using this simple but effective diet. Rumours of it’s supposed effectiveness spread like wild fire. Hundreds of books have been written since.

So what is the secret to this diet. It’s simple. Have a banana for breakfast, a glass of room temp. water, don’t eat desserts or sweets and go to bed before midnight. Simply put, the premise for this ‘diet’ is to eat breakfast, drink water and don’t snack, the basic principles of any weight loss scheme. It has nothing to do with the bananas, and in fact they could be replaced with much better and (in Japan anyways), much cheaper produce.

[Although, bananas are good for breakfast. They have a lot of potassium and also digest really fast, so they are a great source of good, fast energy.]

#6 Banana adverts:

I don’t know what sane person thinks these adverts are a good idea. Sure, as a crazy parody every once in a while they can be affective. But in Japan they are so common, it’s just not right. It scares me that it’s not only the advert producers that come up with these ideas, but also the executives of the company and the broadcasting companies that think they are suitable to sell the product. One thing for sure, they do stick in your mind.

Strange dole advert.

Hmmmm, OK…

WTF Dole advert.

Wait…what?!

Alvin and the Chipmunks sing ‘Japanese Banana’

I don’t know, this seems ever so slightly racist to me. I think it’s the stereotypical Japanese music that they sing to. And apparently Japan doesn’t even have bananas.

Suggestive advert that isn’t selling bananas

OK this is Korean, but Olympus is Japanese and she’s singing about bananas .

#7 Banana Street English lesson

Welcome to Banana Street, where two misfits dress up like Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street and give out free English lessons. Unfortunately, these English lessons are just an excuse to make fun of the unsuspecting clients by taking advantage of their lack of English knowledge and making them say outrageous things. Even though it’s in Japanese, most of you should get the drift of things. It’s hilarious to say the least.

If you’re wondering about the happy birthday part, they say ‘tsuufuu’ instead of ‘to you’, which is a kind of pun. 通風 translates to gout. Also note, for those of you who speak or are learning Japanese, you may have noticed that the subtitles are in a mix of kanji, hiragana and katakana. This is intentional, it is to express that the person is speaking in a strange way. This is often used when subtitling foreigners, like Mr. James from McDonalds.

#8 Date Masamune Banana picture taking

Date Masamune is a pretty well known figure in Japan, especially in the north east of Tohoku. He’s the samurai who became famous and pretty much established the city of Sendai. He’s also pretty famous for having a crescent moon shape on the front of his helmet, which people often mistake (probably intentionally) for a banana. Hence, when it comes to celebrations and festivals that contain Date Masamune, you’ll often find people taking pictures of each other, holding bananas to their foreheads, in order to mimick Date Masamune and his crescent moon helmet. Here’s a picture of yours truly at the Date Masamune festival in Iwadeyama, Miyagi prefecture.

#9 Banana themed products

Alongside the banana guard, Japan has come up with many other banana themed products. Here are but a few of them:
 

Banana juice packaging

Now this I can dig. Not only is the packaging, by Japanese designer Naoto Fukasawa, pretty awesome, but it’s BANANA JUICE!! I like this very much. More of this Japan, MORE!
 

Infinite banana

Hehe, OK, so I’ve tried the infinite bubble wrap toy, and it’s a blast (but nothing beats the real thing!). This, however, I understand, but it still sits a little weirdly. I suppose if you like that sort of thing.
 

Cellfoam banana holder

OK, I’m at a loss here. Simply put, the only reason you’d want one of these was if you had wacky stuff in your apartment, and it was all for show. End of. And the terrible pun of Cellfoam (cell ‘phone’ for those who don’t get it) is unforgivable. [OK, I'm not sure this is Japanese, but it fits in with the theme of things]

#10 Tokyo Banana

The Tokyo Banana is a type of sweet made in, you guessed it, Toyko. It’s a pretty popular omiyage (souvenir) to bring home if ever you’re in Tokyo. It’s like a sponge cake with a banana flavoured cream inside. Some have pieces of banana in there too. Americans, apparently it’s like a banana flavoured Twinkie, whatever the hell that is. The company that makes them also has other themed desserts, such as the Black Bear (i think) (黒べエ) and the Cheese Rabbit (チーズうさぎ).

勉強になるなぁ！

Sumitani [住谷正樹] , aka Razor Ramon HG, aka 「 フォー！」HARD GAY です！is my idea of “woah, WTF Japan!”.

Hard Gay [ハードゲイ] is a Japanese T.V. personality, comedian and ex-wrestler. Wearing black PVC, he struts around thrusting his pelvis at the general public as he makes his way through the streets of Japan making everyone feel uncomfortable. Uttering things like フォー！, ’sei sei sei sei’ or ‘Dooooumou, HARD GAY desu!’, he is Japan’s answer to the Village People. ( ^ _ ^ ) No one is safe from his comical antics, not even children. As hilarious as his actions are, I am slightly worried that he is seen as ‘family entertainment’.

I’ll give you some links to youtube, you can see for yourself. Personally, I think he is awesome, but it makes me wonder what goes through the minds of those T.V. executives in Japan, especially since Japan is such a conservative country!

The infamous Hard Gay ramen shop

The best (worst) of Hard Gay

フゥ~！

On a separate note, more regular posts to come in a day or two. I’ve been in France you see!