It’s strange, I know, but I’m going to go through some banana related things in Japan you may or may not know. Regardless, it’s bound to be an education for you! Welcome to my top ten list of banana related Japan!

#1 Magical Banana

Magical banana is an pretty old game show and a game you can play with your friends. It’s a word association game, kinda structured like Shiritori. You’ve probably seen it before, on MTV’s Dirty Sanchez, although they play with canes and pain.

The premise of the game is simple. Someone starts saying the word ‘magical banana’. The next person then has to think of something to do with that. Then the next person has to think of something to do with the thing just said, and so on. For example, with two people:

Player 1: “Magical Banana!”

Player 2: “When I think of bananas, I think of yellow!”

Player 1: “When I think of yellow, I think of sunflowers”

Player 2: “When I think of sunflowers, I think of bees”

Player 1: “When I think of bees, I think of honey!”

Player 2: “When I think of honey, I think of…erm…” (and the game is over because they couldn’t think of something fast enough!)

An hesitation or an incorrect answer ends the current game, usually with some kind of penalty involved.

It’s a quick game, made even quicker in Dirty Sanchez where single word answers, a short time limit and getting hit in the head with a piece of cane for wrong answers make the cut.

Here’s a video of the original gameshow in Japanese. Unfortunately i’m not gonna sub it, because there’s a LOT, but you’ll get the gist hopefully.

#2 Banana King

Japan has all sorts of crazy products, with equally crazy adverts to promote them. Sometimes, even the simplest things, like bananas, need an extra boost of ‘crazy’ to help them sell above the norm. Nothing compared to the Dole adverts i’ll show later, this is the Banana King. He is king of bananas, and he declares it to the world. This vid in particular is a song that is pretty damn catchy, but it’s a great example on how un-serious Japan is, and how it builds up it’s brand names on crazy concepts. The whole thing is at Europeon/American standards of crazy, but the scary thing is that this is the norm in Japan.

This is actually one of the Banana king adverts I found. The one I saw today was a newer one. This one is pretty tame compared to the weird Japanese adverts that are on TV, even today. This has actually been turned into a full song, those who want more information go here.

Wanna know what they’re saying? Then check out these lyrics. I’ve tried my best to figure out what they said. Anyone who wants to correct me, please do so.

オレの皮で転ぶなよ！
“Don’t fall on my skin!”

バナナの王様、
バナナの王様、
完熟王！
“The banana king,
the banana king,
ripe enough for a king!”

完熟王！
“Ripe enough for a king!”

食べられちゃった．．．
“he’s got himself eaten…”

おいしいよ！
バナナの王様、
完熟王！
“They’re delicious!
The banana king,
ripe enough for a king!

(Some of you may notice the kanji on the pacakaging is 甘熟王 not 完熟王. This is a play on words. Kanjyuku (完熟) means to be fully ripened. Ama[i] (甘[い]) means to be sweet. Ama[i] can also be read as ‘kan’, so it’s replace the first part, to imply not only is it ripened, but it is sweet too. A kind of Japanese play on words.)

#3 Banana armour

Japan is full of crazy, unnecessary products. Some are quaint, some make you think “What was going through the designers mind”, or “who would think this is useful”. The banana guard is one of these products.

Sure, for little kids, it helps to keep banana off of their schoolbooks and in their bag and stuff. I’m sure that many parents will tell of the horrors of having to clear out mushed fruit out of their child’s bag when they get home from school. However, the idea of having a separate container for the banana seems a little inappropriate. It’s like Japan’s need to have everything packaged twice over using all sorts of different materials. It’s just unneeded.

Unfortunately for some companies, such as the makers of the Banana Bunker, the product in various ‘hot’ colours look like something else.

#4 Ridiculously expensive fruit

Sometimes when at work, someone will come around with a box of apples or a big bag of pears and start handing out pieces of fruit on little sticks, much like party appetizers. This seems, quaint at first to the untrained eye, a nice small gesture.

When you’ve been here for a little while, you grab at these opportunities and realise something; these guys must be loaded!

Because my friends, fruit in Japan is expensive. I’m not talking a little bit, like “man, these apples are 10p more expensive that the other week!” kinda expensive. I’m talking about 3-4 apples costing about £10 expensive. I’m talking about a watermelon costing more that it does to fill up your car expensive. If you like fruit and you aren’t wealthy, don’t come to Japan!

Even bananas, which are such a staple fruit back home, are kinda expensive. Sure, $4-5 for a bunch of three bananas ain’t that bad, but when you see they’re really quite small an already over ripe, then you realise that the value of these things just went plummeting down.

#5 The Morning Banana Diet

Ah, the trend that started it all. Millions of Japanese women (and men for that matter) ran out to stores and supermarkets to buy up bananas after it was discovered that they were part of a miracle diet. And by discovered, I mean it came from a post on the Japanese website Mixi, after one of the posters claimed they had shed a number of pounds using this simple but effective diet. Rumours of it’s supposed effectiveness spread like wild fire. Hundreds of books have been written since.

So what is the secret to this diet. It’s simple. Have a banana for breakfast, a glass of room temp. water, don’t eat desserts or sweets and go to bed before midnight. Simply put, the premise for this ‘diet’ is to eat breakfast, drink water and don’t snack, the basic principles of any weight loss scheme. It has nothing to do with the bananas, and in fact they could be replaced with much better and (in Japan anyways), much cheaper produce.

[Although, bananas are good for breakfast. They have a lot of potassium and also digest really fast, so they are a great source of good, fast energy.]

#6 Banana adverts:

I don’t know what sane person thinks these adverts are a good idea. Sure, as a crazy parody every once in a while they can be affective. But in Japan they are so common, it’s just not right. It scares me that it’s not only the advert producers that come up with these ideas, but also the executives of the company and the broadcasting companies that think they are suitable to sell the product. One thing for sure, they do stick in your mind.

Strange dole advert.

Hmmmm, OK…

WTF Dole advert.

Wait…what?!

Alvin and the Chipmunks sing ‘Japanese Banana’

I don’t know, this seems ever so slightly racist to me. I think it’s the stereotypical Japanese music that they sing to. And apparently Japan doesn’t even have bananas.

Suggestive advert that isn’t selling bananas

OK this is Korean, but Olympus is Japanese and she’s singing about bananas .

#7 Banana Street English lesson

Welcome to Banana Street, where two misfits dress up like Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street and give out free English lessons. Unfortunately, these English lessons are just an excuse to make fun of the unsuspecting clients by taking advantage of their lack of English knowledge and making them say outrageous things. Even though it’s in Japanese, most of you should get the drift of things. It’s hilarious to say the least.

If you’re wondering about the happy birthday part, they say ‘tsuufuu’ instead of ‘to you’, which is a kind of pun. 通風 translates to gout. Also note, for those of you who speak or are learning Japanese, you may have noticed that the subtitles are in a mix of kanji, hiragana and katakana. This is intentional, it is to express that the person is speaking in a strange way. This is often used when subtitling foreigners, like Mr. James from McDonalds.

#8 Date Masamune Banana picture taking

Date Masamune is a pretty well known figure in Japan, especially in the north east of Tohoku. He’s the samurai who became famous and pretty much established the city of Sendai. He’s also pretty famous for having a crescent moon shape on the front of his helmet, which people often mistake (probably intentionally) for a banana. Hence, when it comes to celebrations and festivals that contain Date Masamune, you’ll often find people taking pictures of each other, holding bananas to their foreheads, in order to mimick Date Masamune and his crescent moon helmet. Here’s a picture of yours truly at the Date Masamune festival in Iwadeyama, Miyagi prefecture.

#9 Banana themed products

Alongside the banana guard, Japan has come up with many other banana themed products. Here are but a few of them:
 

Banana juice packaging

Now this I can dig. Not only is the packaging, by Japanese designer Naoto Fukasawa, pretty awesome, but it’s BANANA JUICE!! I like this very much. More of this Japan, MORE!
 

Infinite banana

Hehe, OK, so I’ve tried the infinite bubble wrap toy, and it’s a blast (but nothing beats the real thing!). This, however, I understand, but it still sits a little weirdly. I suppose if you like that sort of thing.
 

Cellfoam banana holder

OK, I’m at a loss here. Simply put, the only reason you’d want one of these was if you had wacky stuff in your apartment, and it was all for show. End of. And the terrible pun of Cellfoam (cell ‘phone’ for those who don’t get it) is unforgivable. [OK, I'm not sure this is Japanese, but it fits in with the theme of things]

#10 Tokyo Banana

The Tokyo Banana is a type of sweet made in, you guessed it, Toyko. It’s a pretty popular omiyage (souvenir) to bring home if ever you’re in Tokyo. It’s like a sponge cake with a banana flavoured cream inside. Some have pieces of banana in there too. Americans, apparently it’s like a banana flavoured Twinkie, whatever the hell that is. The company that makes them also has other themed desserts, such as the Black Bear (i think) (黒べエ) and the Cheese Rabbit (チーズうさぎ).

勉強になるなぁ！

 
日本語:

Lyrics:

何だ！このあふれる色
なぜ？白いものが
何？これは夢だ信じられない
目覚めよジャーク！
何？
何だ！うそだ！信じられない
なぜ？歌ってるぞ
何？町中に楽しい笑いも笑顔があふれて
僕がどうかしている見たいだ
なぜ？
雪をながている　頭じゃない
おもちゃ作る人が生きているなんて
下でかすむ窓の向こうから
愛にあふれるぬくもりがきた
ほら見ろ！何だ？ヤドリギだぞ！
キスだ！ユニークだね。いいな！
お話は何かな
暖炉でくるみがはねる
なぜ？
何？あれは？小さな木だ
変わっている！初めて見た
どうして？小さなライトつけた紐を飾るんだ
あんな楽しそうに
僕が間違っているかな
素敵だ！素敵だ！願いがかなうぞ
なぜ？
おやま！なんと！子供がいる
でも見ろ！何もいない
悪魔も魔女もいない誰も
ここには小さな寝息で
夢の中だ
なぜ？
お化けはいないし　悪魔もいない
何だか素敵だな町中が
悲鳴の変わりに歌が聞こえ
お菓子を焼く香り漂って
なぜ！こんな初めてだぞ
全てか美しいぞ
聞いて！うつろな心が満たされて
僕は気づいた
ほしいな！ほしいな！僕のものだ！
教えて！僕が見つけたこの町は
何だ？

Want to learn the lyrics in depth? Go to Smart.fm (that I mentioned in the last post) and study this list. Great Stuff!

Original Version:

I’m currently studying for my JLPT level 2 exam, although I’m really not sure that I’m ready. Hopefully by December! Anyways, as I’m in the ‘benkyou’ spirit of things, I thought I’d share my favourite Japanese learning resources with you all. Here is a list of my Top 10, in no particular order:

10. Real Kana

http://www.realkana.com/

For those just starting Japanese, Real Kana is a great website for learning the all important Japanese alphabets, Hiragana and Katakana. It’s a pretty simple online program; a symbol pops up and you type what it is in the box. The good thing about this is it’s fast, so you’ll be repeating them a lot and you’ll retain them.

It’s set out so you can learn rows of hiragana or katakana (or both) at a time, i.e. “KA KI KU KE KO”, or “A I U E O”, etc. Just click the checkboxes of the rows you want to learn, and then go to ‘practice’, and practice away!

Simples!

9. The internet TESL Journal

http://iteslj.org/v/j/

This site has a list of multiple choice quizzes contributed by members. I found this when searching for JLPT verb lists, and it has sections of JLPT verbs, adjectives, vocab, as well as a whole list of other things. You should check it out (the navigation needs a good rethinking however). ( ^ _ ^ ).

8. Smart.fm

http://smart.fm/

Smart.fm was built out from the old ‘iknow’ site, and still retains it’s fantastic methods that made ‘iknow’ such a hit. Based on a lot of scientific research, Smart.fm offers repetition software which focuses on helping you remember things over a long period of time. Not only good for learning Japanese, but other languages, dates, events, etc.

7. Tae Kim’s guide to learning Japanese

http://www.guidetojapanese.org/

Tae Kim’s Guide to Learning Japanese is a great website for going over and re-enforcing all that grammar you learnt in class. Some use this site like their bible for Japanese; I can see why. Not only are things explained well, he also includes kanji/kana examples. All the kanji can be tool-tipped over to see the reading in hiragana as well!

What makes this special from other sites is not only the content and how it is displayed, but the fact that it’s been translated into a dozen languages! Pretty rare to find that. Awesome stuff.

Mr. Kim, we salute you!

6. Renshuu.org

http://www.renshuu.org/

Renshuu.org (renshuu being the Japanese for ‘practice’) is a kanji/vocab testing website. It’s set out as a multiple choice quiz, and is pretty customisable. It also takes information from popular Japanese textbooks, such as ‘Genki’ and ‘Japanese for Busy People’. This can be a great supplement if used alongside them. You can also go over JLPT kanji or Kanji Kentei (Official Kanji). The site is a little bulky though, but once you start using it, it can be a big help.

5. Malago

http://www.malago.net/jlpt_4.php

Malago is a Philippino/Japanese website, but it has a good JLPT testing section. I’ve linked to the JLPT 4 page because navigating from the homepage is pretty difficult. (Seriously guys, design change much?) You can get to JLPT 3-1 there as well. Each page has a list of example tests on grammar, writing, vocab, etc. Great for preparing for you JLPT exams.

4. Anki

http://ichi2.net/anki/

Anki is powerful stuff. In essence, it’s a repetition program designed to help remember things like Kanji. However, a lot of research has gone into *how* you remember things, so the inner mechanics of the software are pretty advanced. You guess what the word is, then the answer pops up. You chose whether it was easy, medium or hard, and the program sorts out how often it’ll repeat the word. This makes it one of the best repetition programs out there, coupled with the fact you can not only put kanji in it, but vocab, grammar points and sentances as well. You can make up your own ‘decks’ of flashcards or download others.

Anki is one of the few resources on this list that isn’t web based either. You’ll need to download the program from the site and then get some decks for it. (Note: I’ve been told you *can* use it as a web-based program. I’ll have to check that out.)

3. Read The Kanji

http://www.readthekanji.com/

Read The Kanji is a great Kanji repetition website. They’ve just had a make-over, so it looks a lot nicer than it did. Everything is set out wonderfully; large text, good clean colours, great examples and an easy to use system.

The kanji comes up, you type into the box what you think it is, and it’ll tell you if it’s right or wrong.

Although the software isn’t as sophisticated as Anki, it’s still pretty good, and keeps a track of your progress, making sure to test you again and again on the ones you didn’t quite know. You can also check to see how well you’re improving on different kanji. The decks are split up into six sections; Hiragana, Katakana, JLPT4 kanji, JLPT3 kanji, JLPT2 kanji and JLPT1 kanji.

2. Edufire

http://edufire.com/

Where do I begin? Those of you who have already had a gander probably know what a great concept this website is. Basically, Edufire is an online teaching platform. Tutors log in and give lessons using a microphone and a webcam. Classes can have up to a hundred students at a time, and it doesn’t matter where you are from; as long as you have an internet connection you can join in. You can join group lessons, or have private lessons. Most of the subjects taught are languages, expecially Japanese, but new classes are made all the time and they’ve had things like sewing, maths, lyric writing, business and even make-up application! Tutors come from all over, and have varying levels of experience and skill. You’ll no doubt find what you want on there, and if not, then request it!

Possibly the best thing about this service is the cost of it. For starters, probably half the classes are FREE, which is always a good thing. Even then, most private lessons (which are usually about an hour) are only about the $10-20 range, which beats the price of a private tutor coming to your home! They have also started a service called SuperPass, which is a monthly subscription (I think it’s $29.99 /mo), which allows you to take as many of the classes as you want to take, providing they are marked as ‘SuperPass’ classes (which is most of them).

Not only do they do online lessons, they also have a great section dedicated to flash card practice.

Well worth checking this out!

1. Tim Werx

http://www.timwerx.net/home/index.htm

This is quite possibly my favourite Japanese language site ever. It doesn’t seem like much, but there are hundreds of grammar points all laid out in a simple and easy to read manner. The best thing about it is that the points are very well written, so they are easy to understand and you get the point much easier. I’ve seen too many sites that overload you with too much at once, waffle on and make the lesson harder than it should be. Lots of example sentances with each mini lesson, and a list of vocab used (as well as notes on certain words). Some might criticise the lack of kana and kanji (the examples are in romaji), but I think it helps keep the focus on the grammar points. It would be nice to have them though.

I tend to use the Japanese verbs section a lot.

If you’re reading this, well done Tim!

[i日本語 image from odeo.com]

Again, you’ve got to hand it to the Kansai region for coming up with most of these.

CHAU (ちゃう) – Different / thats wrong!

 
Chau is the contracted form of ‘Chigau’, to be different. Often doubled to ‘chau chau’ in common speech. 「いや、ちゃうちゃう」 – “No no no, that’s wrong…”. It’s more ‘different’ than ‘incorrect’ though. Mike from Gakuranman.com found an awesome example of using ‘chau’ with ‘chihuahua’.

OHISA (おひさ) – Long time-no see! / It’s been a while!

 
Simply the contracted form of Ohisashiburi! This contraction actually feels worth it though. 「おい、お前ら！おひさ！」 – Hey you guys! Long time no see!

 

-SU (っす) – To Be

 
-su is quite simply, the contraction of the ever famous ‘desu’. Ok, so we’ve got ‘da’ which is just as short, but it gives you some variety.　多分、むだっす！

UMEE (うめー) – Yuuuuuum!

 
Not really a contraction, but hey. If you are ever going to work for NHK, the you need to learn the bazillion ways of saying ‘oh my sweet Jebus that tastes good!’. Ume is a standard slang, from Umai (delicious). Adding extra vowels increases the strength of the word, and therefore how tasty the thing is (or how much bullshit you’re giving us Mr. Reporter-san!). Having either a ー or a small ‘ぇ’ is common.

「ぅわ、これマジうめー！」 – Holy shit, this is scrumptious!

So, the first artist on the list is a man called Ken Hirai (平井堅 Hirai Ken). He is one of my favourite chill out artists, and has a wonderfully unique voice that seems to be made for those sort of songs. His music is either light and happy, or a little more passionate. If you are looking for Rock music then you’ve come to the wrong place!

Ken Hirai is a Japanese R&B/pop singer. I was first introduced to him during my first trip to Japan in 2004, when I was given a single from the album 「SENTIMENTALovers」.

The single was Omoi ga kasanaru sono mae ni (思いが重なるその前に), which loosely translated means ‘Before our feelings overlap’. It was and still is my favourite Ken song, so i’ll share it with you. [You can get the link at the bottom of the page.]

It is a nice, light emotional song, and it’s great to sing along to (even if you only know the chorus line!). You can learn the lyrics pretty easily; the song has a slow tempo and even though it’s pretty hard to make your voice go as high as his does you find yourself managing somehow ( ^ _ ^ ). It’s one of those songs that sounds best with a good pair of in-ear headphones, laying down looking at the sky. Actually, the single’s cover art does that feeling justice, as you can see below.

If you want the lyrics i’ve put them here (stolen from animelyrics.com!):
ねぇそんなことを隣でキミも
思ったりするのかな
思いが重なるその前に
強く手を握ろう

君の目に映る青空が
悲しみの雨に滲んでも
そんな時は思い出して
笑い合えた今日の日を

肩を落とす君を見る度に
連れ出すのは僕の方なのに
時々わからなくなるよ
僕が救われてるんだ

その掌は虹も掴めるさ
キミだけの歌を
ラララ探しに行こう

ねぇいつかキミは僕のことを
忘れてしまうのかな
その時はキミに手を振って
ちゃんと笑ってられるかな

* Repeat top

誰といても一人ぼっち
唇噛み締める時には
またここにきて同じ空を
何も言わずに見上げよう

涙も傷も宝物になる
キミだけに歌を
ラララ歌って行こう

ねぇいつかキミは君の夢を
忘れてしまうのかな
その時は瞳を逸らさずに
キミと向き合えるのかな

ねぇこんな僕はキミのために
何ができるのかな
言葉にならない思いだけ
強く手を握ろう
強く手を握ろう

Ken Hirai – Omoi ga kasanaru sono mae ni
[Right click - save link as]

This is also one of my favourites, きみのすきなこと（君の好きな事）, lit. ‘Your favourite things’. There’s a very cute video that goes with the song, it’s all lovely and a little cheesy, but in a good way. It is off the 2008 「Fakin’ Pop」 album.

This is also a pretty popular song, Hitomi wo Tojite (瞳をとじて) which means ‘Close your eyes’ (actualy, ひとみ is pupil, but this is another strange Japanese expression that we shouldn’t try to understand…). It was a number one hit and was also the theme song to the movie 「世界の中心で、愛をさけぶ」. It was also off the SENTIMENTALovers album.

Other songs to look out for: Kimi wa su-te-ki ♥ (君はス・テ・キ♥ – You are won-der-ful), Elegy and Pop Star.